discover

discover
to obtain sight or knowledge of for the first time

From the very first struggle of breath to every other first time, we as a species are in a state of discovery.  Naturally this will plateau at some point and fall off as we age, yet its existence cannot be denied.  Each little experience can shape us into all that we are, as we learn from the sights and sounds, and how we feel about all the discoveries we make.  From the very first line of poetry that is read, screen and its content that is viewed, line that is drawn, music that is heard or vegetable that is sliced, it is in such discoveries that we make that influence and steer us often through life.

And so as I power up the electronic box that I along with millions have discovered long ago (at this point) I realize that at its core, discovery is exactly the single most important piece of Mass Effect Andromeda, and what it's really all about.  As I select my team for another go around as Pathfinder, I discover familiar places and faces and look forward to the latest adventure from BIOWARE, the most anticipated, hugely marketed, ANTHEM. 





The politics around gaming have always been a slippery slope of anticipation for similar, nearly identical experiences by the community.  Whenever this isn't met there is seemly hell to pay for the developers and designers.  Unfairly we are always judging based on past experiences and discoveries.  The harsh criticism overlooks the positive creation and growth in an industry that is constantly driving towards pushing the limits of not only technology but feeling and emotion that we experience each time we enter into created worlds; unplugging from the present. 

This is an easy rabbit hole to fall down as we are generally shaped by these past discoveries and want the comfort of such feelings again, and more importantly to continue.  I myself have been critical of many games/experiences but must remind myself (and encourage others to as well) that when we unplug and enter into someones created world the discovery we experience is really the gold and not necessarily our final opinion after 10, 50, 100+  hours later.  Take the time to discover and try to control your criticism, basing it solely on the new experience (not only basing it on previous ones). 

After all, hobbies such as gaming, no matter what you choose to discover and explore, are addictive joys that most don't want to give up or end.  And so we need the Bioware's of the world to keep doing what they do so we can too.

discrimination

discrimination

the practice of unfairly treating a person or group of people differently from other people or groups of people

"They are showing up in droves to see Donald Trump: Men and women, overwhelmingly white, frustrated with the country's first black president, fearful that they are being displaced by minorities and immigrants, and nostalgic for the way America used to be." -CNN

Wait, what!! nostalgic for the way America used to be??!!  What time-frame are we talking about people?  I guess its fair to assume prior generations, using at least 50 years ago as a baseline for this; prior to around 1960.  So white Americans are fearful, and want to go back to the pre-1960 era.  As we travel back in time together to an era, where many of these very people haven't been born yet, let us take a moment to reflect on how great America used to be, because clearly it was vividly amazing for them.  During a period of time ranging from the 17th century all the way to the 1960's!:

"Legally or socially sanctioned privileges and rights were given to White Americans that were not granted to Native Americans, African Americans, Asian Americans and Latin Americans. European Americans were granted exclusive privileges in matters of education, immigration, voting rights, citizenship, land acquisition, and criminal procedure." -Wikipedia

So white America is fearful of the loss of exclusive privileges, furthermore, nostalgic for discrimination throughout our seemly not great nation.  There is more, lets go back again to pre-1960:

"However, non-Protestant immigrants from Europe; particularly Irish people, Polish, and Italian, suffered xenophobic exclusion and other forms of ethnicity-based discrimination in American society, and were not considered fully white. In addition, West Asian groups like Jews and Arabs have faced continuous discrimination in the United States, and as a result, some people belonging to these groups do not identify as white. East and South Asians have similarly faced racism in America" -Wikipedia




We achieved our independence from England to form the great nation of the USA, I guess in exchange for treating anyone not "white" unfairly, although this probably happened even before 1776.  And boy talk about a term; "unfair" - this hardly describes what all the "non-whites" along with women of every color really endured during this time of "great America." Sure lets all go back, what a great time for our country, we can't let the minorities and immigrants displace the whites.  But don't stop there, bring back lynchings, public hanging, "A" branding on women who are accused of cheating on their husbands and please, please bring back corporal punishments in the schools and wearing the dunce cap sitting in the corner.  You have to have it all if you want to go back to a time where America was so great. Was it?  "Is making America great again" really great when only one particular race is treated kindly and allowed privileges?  I think not; better yet I know not.

See individuals sometimes fear what they don't understand, fear what is different, fear even what is new.  We shouldn't fear immigrants from countries all over the world who are trying to make a better life in America, the same as most of our ancestors did years ago.  Nor should we categorize or discriminate against an entire group based on the actions of a few. We shouldn't fear or speak badly about someone because of the color of their skin.  Part of what makes America great (yes that's right, it's already great) is the diversity and freedoms of all people that make up this nation.  I don't ever want to go back to a time that some of us thought was so great.  Everything I have ever read, watched, or heard only made America great years ago through the eyes of one group, and although many of them blazed a trail for this country to be what it is today they are long gone; the rest of us that are left must continue to make it even greater than it already is.  Hopefully this will continue on election day 2016 when the first female is elected to the highest office of our great country.

Don't be afraid of something new, different, or even unknown, it's this change that often leads to higher levels of greatness...

free/die

free
Not imprisoned or confined, not controlled by obligation or the will of another

die
To cease existing, especially by degrees; fade


Freedom is easily taken for granted by the large majority who are born into the very right of not being under any one's control.  If we live our life without the feeling of not having something, then by all accounts it is hard to imagine, or really feel what it might be like to not have that very something. Freedom like many rights in our American society is granted to most, yet across the globe not to all, even today. We can all agree that living a life of freedom is something all of us would prefer, and don't believe is only present in the great state of New Hampshire.  A state that goes so far to say that this is the only way to live, if not, then the only solution to such is death.  Over my lifetime I have spent a good amount of time in the Granite State, and continue to spend many days throughout the year there.  And so as we packed up the car and headed out on a Friday afternoon, a Friday before the ultimate celebration of freedom in America, our Independence Day, a rush of warm pleasant feelings started to overcome the presence of predictable highway traffic.

As we pulled into our destination, unpacked and stretched, I couldn't help but breathe in the fresh outdoor air, listen to the environment, alive with sounds of distant animals and activity, and connect it all through the sight of a pair of loons slowly swimming by; the ultimate couple.  Yes this certainly is the way to live, bursting with freedom.  This is seemingly the only way many of the outdoor critters know how to live.  Their end of this way of life is when they eventually cease to exist.  And so I continue to come back to the NH slogan and embrace "living free" in my environment, something that I haven't stopped to think about much prior to this weekend. 

Unplugging from the busy routine of life is essentially freeing oneself from the imprisonment of obligation.  As I disconnect and enter into a consciousness of freedom from duty and responsibility, I take in the beauty all around, as my senses continue to work, feeding my body.  Living free from the control of obligation or the will of another is certainly great, but not without its problems.  Like many things in life, it is not perfect, not perfect by any means. Sometimes the very things that make life great, like freedom, do not come without a cost. You see, this freedom means that any one individual can do mostly anything he or she wants within any given moment.  It means the freedom to drive ones boat through a narrow channel not more than 15 feet deep towing the all excited water skier, never once stopping to think about what impact this may have around them.  It means the freedom of shooting off dozens upon dozens of fireworks lakeside for hours, disturbing nearly all living things from their normal freedom of their own lives; ignorant to the man made waste that litters the lake habitat days later showing up in the natural waters.  And it means that in many cases, our very human freedoms leave a trail of footprints throughout the world for everyone else to just deal with.

The long weekend did not only leave me recognizing this, but left me with a greater understanding that freedom is to be appreciated, cherished, and respected.  And most of all, even when those around you make this very hard to do, the company of family and friends can more than make up for it.

quit

quit
to abandon an activity out of frustration or despair; give up


...you have stolen 44 hours of my life, time that I can never have back.  However many words it takes, let me spend some time ranting, reviewing and ultimately quitting XCOM 2.  

XCOM 2, the sequel to XCOM: Enemy Unknown has more or less gotten stellar praise from the gaming community since its release on February 5th of this year.  This turn-based, top-down, tactical strategy game is currently sitting at an average score of 88/100 across 104 critic reviews on Metacritic, and a 94! on PC GAMER. So congrats to Firaxis Games on creating a sequel to an already great game, which I have little doubt will lead to another sequel sometime in the not to distant future.

Now, having said this, frustration and despair are two perfect words that sum up my current state of this popular title.  I'm sure across the universe of comments and reviews laced in opinions, someone out there will be screaming -that's XCOM; scream away.  I like to think I have a certain amount of patience, and did not get to where I'm feeling at this point, without hours of experience.  Like many games out there, especially one such as this, there is a learning curve.  Such a curve I experienced with the first title, which in the end left me completely fulfilled.


So as they knocked 40% off this sequel title I jumped in head first, eager to see and experience all part two had to offer.  As I started the game I first was tasked with the decision of what level of difficulty I wanted to play at: rookie, veteran, commander or legend.  Each having a description of the level, I quickly choose, a challenge appropriate for players familiar with XCOM, veteran.  I did after all successfully complete the initial title at a similar difficulty level.  I was then asked if I wanted to enable "ironman" mode, the true XCOM experience, where every choice you make in game is final, recommended for experienced XCOM players only.  Check, lets do this; and so it began...

At this point, looking back at things, I realize a very important detail that escaped me during all the initial excitement; familiar and experienced do not under any circumstance mean the same thing or are an equal of themselves.  Would we step on a plane with a pilot who is familiar with planes, or one who is experienced?  One who is experienced has gained knowledge or skill, familiarity speaks more of general knowing.  At the very least I think most of us would opt for experience over mire familiarity.  This misstep in game setup lead me to, after a few hours, starting over and making sure not to select "ironman."  I can appreciate this option as I'm sure there are gamers out there who want to play this game that way, I however, am not one.

As we fast forward to approximately 30 hours into the game I make another very important assessment, mistakes were made along the way, there is no way I'm getting to the end and successfully beating this bastard of a game, based on the choices I have made thus far.  I now am feeling experienced, addicted, and want more. Time to start over from the beginning, learn from my novice mistakes and kick ass all the way to the end, so I thought...and another 15 or so hours of my life disappear...

Enter the randomness factor.  You see as each turn is played out, and you carefully position your troops in just the right spots and angles, when you choose your action prior to your turn ending, there is a percentage of completing that particular action that will pop up.  So you must decide, for example, do I allow my sniper to take the basic shot at a 94% success rate, or do I take a chance, use the "dead eye" skill for an extra damage boost, at a loss of aim, for a 78% success rate.  And yes, I know that not even 94% is 100% guaranteed, but it was this very game mechanic that caused my frustration to boil over and quit the game.

Honestly I don't have that big of a problem with this game mechanic.  The problem I have lies within the fact that when a 94% or 98% chance of a successful attack misses, the result can be a chain reaction dealing death to your entire squad, mission failure, which then impacts the rest of the play through.  Yes I know its part of the game, but damn it!  Don't tell me that my Colonel ranked Ranger wielding an ax forged by Satan himself, standing on top of the enemy has a 94% chance to connect with his attack, its utter bullshit!  Aside from your sniper, I found it rare that you ever have a complete 100% success rate on actions when you compare it to near perfect positioning of your squad.  All the time you have taken and careful planning you have done goes down the drain, turning it into an almost game breaking mechanic.  44 hours of my life,...I'm tired of starting over.

Right now I hate you XCOM 2, not because you suck or are a terrible game and experience, but because you made me quit.  The joy of quitting a video game is that its not like quitting a job, or relationship; its just taking a break.  And sometimes taking a break from a game is OK.

Happy Birthday America.  I'm glad that in the end we had a 100% success rate with our independence. 

sound/voice

sound

vibrations that travel through the air or another medium and can be heard when they reach a person's or animal's ear

voice

the sound produced in a person's larynx and uttered through the mouth, as speech or song

...as I am patted down, ticket scanned and make my way through the gate, I begin to think more about the familiar sound that has somewhat escaped me for a number of years.  The unique sound, the identifiable voice of Steven Page and the Barenaked Ladies.  You have probably heard them, mainly in a car and yet their sound and his voice may make us feel something totally different.  For me, it was the summer of 1999 when this sound made me feel something.  The something over the years has been both comforting and familiar to me, knowing that its always there for me to listen to.  To give me that feeling once again; simply put, happy.  So as we found our seats and waited for the first note, my anticipation grew, thinking about the feeling I was excited to feel again.

Page

You see, that is what sound, and many times voice can give us; comfort, excitement, joy.  And although not all of us may be fans of BNL, like many musical artists, the sounds take us somewhere most of us want to return to, over and over again.  The feelings we get as we listen cannot be forced, they are ours to experience and hopefully enjoy.  What had been nearly 20 years since seeing and listening to BNL live in concert, the hour and a half show at the Blue Hills Bank Pavilion in Boston was truly enjoyable.  The band sounded just as good as I remember, yet something was missing, both sound and voice.  As the night went on I was fixated on this and to my shocking surprise 8 years prior, their iconic front man Steven Page had left the band...

So yes, 17 years ago I saw and more importantly listened to the complete BNL for the last time.  And now is about the time I'm left feeling cheated.  Page's voice is what drew me to the BNL, it is what left me wanting more time and time again.  His voice mixing with the musical sounds from the band made me feel something specific to them and now its gone, stripped away from our world.  My wife and I both were in agreement and spent the hour car ride home in the darkness of the night, with the glow of the dash, discussing this very thing, as we listened to all the songs that we missed out on that night.  All the classic Page sounds which the remaining "Ladies" mostly stayed away from.  Admittedly I spent the next few days obsessively reading up on the whole Page split as both my wife and I somehow missed this altogether.  Embarrassingly we were probably the only couple who couldn't figure out why the accordion player wasn't singing old apartment.

I guess you may be saying so what, just scroll through your library and cycle through all BNL music pre-2008, done.  So I say to you, you are right...